Elevating Self-Love: Lessons I Brought Home from Kauai

I’m back from a week in Kauai, and while the beaches, hikes, and sunsets were unforgettable, the biggest gift I brought home wasn’t in my suitcase—it was a deeper understanding of self-love.

For the past six years, I’ve been working intentionally on elevating my self-love. And while I’ve made huge progress, Kauai reminded me that this work is never truly finished. Being away from my day-to-day routine gave me space to reflect on how easily we can still outsource our self-worth—whether it’s to a partner, a career, or even other people’s approval.

I realized that even though I’ve been doing the work, there were still parts of me that looked outward for validation. That awareness didn’t feel comfortable, but it was clarifying. It reminded me of something all great teachers—from Mel Robbins to countless mentors I’ve learned from—say again and again: love yourself. And not just once. Over and over.

The truth is, self-love isn’t a milestone you reach and check off the list. It’s a daily practice. It’s setting boundaries, honoring your body, and being willing to face the hard truths about yourself with compassion. Sometimes, just when you think you’ve “got it,” the universe sends you an experience to show you where the holes in your practice still exist. It’s painful, yes, but also beautiful if you choose to see it as a chance to grow.

Looking back, I repeated unhealthy patterns from the time I was 17 until I was 42. It wasn’t until I committed to seeking mentors and doing the inner work that I began to break free. Kauai reminded me of that progress, and also showed me that there’s still more ground to cover. And that’s okay.

Because self-love is the ultimate form of Holistic Self-Defense. When you value yourself deeply, you stop repeating patterns that hurt you. You protect your peace. You move through the world with confidence and strength.

So as I settle back in at home, I’m carrying this lesson with me: keep doing the work. Keep loving yourself—even when it feels hard. And trust that every challenge is shaping you into your strongest, most resilient self.